Identifying, Understanding and
Leaving the Narcissist in Your Life
Welcome!
Narcissism is commonly misunderstood as simple selfishness, “It’s always about them.” we might think about someone, labeling them a narcissist, and while it is always about the narcissist, there is much more to the narcissist than selfishness.
The narcissist attracts a lover by “love bombing,” or showering attention and lavishing love on their target. Once ensnared, the narcissist weaves a web of deception, promises and lies. Attempts to leave are met with venomous attacks, manipulation of reality, even threats.
Upcoming Group Sessions.
Bye Bye Narcissist is happy to announce the start of our group sessions beginning September 8th. Sessions are 1 hour each and run back to back for 8 weeks.
Groups blocks are $600 for 8 sessions and run every Wednesday at 7 pm. Each member will also receive a special FREE copy of our book “Bye Bye Narcissist.”
If you have any questions and are interested in joining, please contact us: fred@beybyenarcissist.com
Your Relationship Began Like a Fairy Tale …
But one day, everything changed. You had no idea what you said or did, but your new love turned on you, stinging you with insults and cruelty that were hard to fathom. Your connection to reality was called into question. You were told that things you knew to be true were sure to be true - memories you held dear and shared, were not true and never were. How could that be? Confusion reigned.
Sound Familiar?
When leaving a narcissist, it is important to be strategic. Usually, it is better to not let the narcissist know beforehand you are leaving because they will attempt to re-idealize, love bomb, gaslight or devalue you into staying. It is often effective to pretend nothing has changed while planning your getaway and get legal support ahead of time should you need it.
Dr. Holtz and Dr. Bryman are specially trained to aid in healing from narcissistic abuse. If you are unable to leave the relationship, schedule an appointment today to communicate effectively and set boundaries so the narcissist can no longer take advantage of you.
For over 18 years, Dr. Bryman has been in private practice specializing in children, adolescents, families, individual counseling, and marital counseling. Often treating anxiety and depression, as well as conducting play therapy and parenting training. In addition, she is a specialist in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Psychodynamic Therapy.
Dr. Robin Bryman
Dr. Holtz has an obvious passion for providing the very best Psychological services to Long Island residents. He will do whatever it takes to make the therapeutic experience the most comfortable, pragmatic and effective available. He is dedicated to having both clients and colleagues reach their ultimate potential.
Fred L. Holtz
Lovebombing
Love bombing is the practice of overwhelming someone with signs of adoration and attraction — think flattering comments, tokens of affection, or love notes on the mirror, kitchen table, or windshield, and you’re beginning to get the picture. It’s flowers delivered at work with hearts dotting the “i”s in your name. It’s texts that increase in frequency as they increase in romantic fervor. It’s surprise appearances designed to manipulate you into spending more time with the bomber — and, not coincidentally, less time with others, or on your own.
Grooming
Grooming is a process that sets a certain image in the target’s mind of who the narcissist is and his past experiences. He may create or exaggerate information about past partners or components of his life that are not true (deception) in order to ‘groom’ his current target into demonstrating certain behaviors.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of persistent manipulation and brainwashing that causes the victim to doubt her or himself, and to ultimately lose one’s own sense of perception, identity, and self-worth. A gaslighter’s statements and accusations are often based on deliberate falsehoods and calculated marginalization. The term gaslighting is derived from the 1944 film Gaslight, where a husband tries to convince his wife that she’s insane by causing her to question herself and her reality.
Devaluing
Once a narcissist has hooked their victim, they start showing their true self. This is where the insults and put-downs start slipping into what they say. They suddenly criticize things about their partner that they once seemed to love — everything they say is part of their scheme to shatter their partner's confidence.
Dr. Holtz and Dr. Bryman broadcast every Friday on Facebook Live. Tune in and ask your questions!
Contact
Feel free to contact us with any questions.
Email
fred@byebyenarcissist.com
robin@byebyenarcissist.com
Phone
(516) 818-8383